


It's A Scary World Out There

by smileyarmy



Category: Glee
Genre: Blangst, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 17:12:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1949460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smileyarmy/pseuds/smileyarmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine hadn’t been outside in 2 years, 8 months and 12 days, not that he was counting. The calendars were just lying around his apartment, in a stack by the door. Each one ordered online and delivered to his house. The most interaction he had with actual people was the delivery guy who brought him his groceries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's A Scary World Out There

**Author's Note:**

> Hello once again everyone. I have come out of my internet slumber and somehow this was created. It’s just some idea I’ve had playing in my head for a while and finally managed to type it.
> 
> I’m still accepting prompts to try and get me back into writing again!

Blaine hadn’t been outside in 2 years, 8 months and 12 days, not that he was counting. The calendars were just lying around his apartment, in a stack by the door. Each one ordered online and delivered to his house. The most interaction he had with actual people was the delivery guy who brought him his groceries.

The guy was nice enough, but he clearly had guessed that Blaine didn’t go out, the take out menus and the seemingly lack of a social life gave that impression. The man didn’t seem to care, though Blaine still felt judged every time the man came to him.

He had once been able to go outside, had loved it. But then everything had gone to hell and the outside world had become a dangerous place.

It had started after the break-up, the worst mistake of his life. His self loathing had let him allow his former friends to bully him out of Glee and into the arms of the jocks. He was attacked again, taught that he shouldn’t trust anyone and he asked to be home schooled as soon as he got out of the hospital.

The first time he noticed that he had a problem with the outside world was when he went outside for a run and had a panic attack before he’d even left his parent’s front yard. He’d seen some teenagers lurking nearby and had feared for his life. After that, he stopped running outside, instead remaining inside the house.

When he turned 18, his parents let him have the house, he felt safe there and he never wanted to leave. It was the one place where he was safe, where people with guns couldn’t try to shoot him, where jocks couldn’t beat him, where memories couldn’t taunt him.

He was alone and perfectly happy being alone.

Kurt hadn’t called him since the incident so probably had no idea where Blaine was. Not that Blaine had tried to tell him, after the first week he’d stopped trying and had just let Kurt move on, to at least he assumed move on, he didn’t know for sure.

He hadn’t left his house in 2 years, 8 months and 12 days and he wasn’t planning on leaving the day after that.

***

_[To Blaine: From Kurt]: Hey Blaine, I don’t know if you still have this number, but please call me._

Blaine had been staring at his phone for half an hour, the text was out of the blue and it worried him. Kurt hadn’t talked to him in 2 years, 8 months and 16 days and now here he was texting Blaine and asking for a phone conversation.

He didn’t know if he should call, it had been so long since they had talked. A long length of time and he didn’t know if he’d be able to handle it.

He was unable to go outside, how would he handle the outside calling him? He didn’t even let his family in any more unless they had proof that they were alone and that they weren’t going to drag him outside. Cooper had tried to drag him outside 1 year, 4 months and 23 days into his eternal stay and had almost passed out from the panic attack.

_[To Blaine: From Kurt]: Did you get my text? Just as a once more thing, if you still have this number, call me. Please._

Another text and another plea from the outside world. His hands were shaking, he didn’t know if he’d be able to answer it.

_[To Kurt: From Blaine]: Why are you texting me? ___

_He felt like he had the right to ask, since it had been such a long radio silence that he was wary of why his ex would want to chat. Did he know? Had his parents or Cooper told Kurt about his fear of leaving the house and were trying to guilt trip him into leaving?_

__[To Blaine: From Kurt]: Because I want to talk._ _

_Before Blaine could respond, the phone was ringing and he was hit by a sharp reminder of what he had lost when Kurt’s picture appeared on screen._

_“Kurt?” Blaine answered timidly, hands shaking and his leg juddering. He was sure his heart was popping out through the phone speakers and smacking Kurt in the face, it was beating so fast._

_“ _Blaine_ ” The voice on the other end sounded a lot like a relieved version of his ex, but why would he be relieved?_

_“Why are you contacting me?”_

_“ _Why are you sounding so defensive about it?_ ”_

_The question was surprising, was Kurt still able to read him so easily? Or was he naive enough to think that Blaine would just fall back into old habits when they talked?_

_“Because we haven’t talked in 3 years and suddenly you want to chat” It was give or take on that one, he didn’t know the date of the break-up or when Kurt had sent his final text message saying to stop calling him._

_“ _Yes I do_ ” Kurt sighed down the phone, the sound a whooshing in Blaine’s hypersensitive ears._

_“ _How are you?_ ”_

_“Tired, how are you?”_

_“ _Good, been keeping busy here in New York. Can we meet up?_ ” Blaine couldn’t stop the laugh that left his lips._

_“I’m not in New York Kurt” He pointed out, he’d never even left Westerville, he was no-where near the Big Apple._

_“ _You aren’t? But I thought you were moving here when you graduated. Where are you then?_ ” Kurt sounded so surprised, so confused as to why Blaine wasn’t where he had said he would be. Kurt didn’t know about his fear of the outdoors._

_“Why do you want to know?” He was calming down from his almost panic attack, Kurt’s voice was still soothing after all these years. Yet he was still defensive, he didn’t want to reveal his life to the guy who hadn’t been apart of it for 3 years._

_“ _Because I miss you? Seriously, what’s with you? Why are you being so defensive?_ ” Kurt sounded irritated, it swelled an emotion in Blaine that he hadn’t had in so long._

_“Because we haven’t talked in 3 years Kurt. I’ve grown bitter.”_

_“ _Well that’s apparent. Do I need to call back when you start acting like an adult?_ ”_

_“And who says I’ll pick up? The fact that I picked up this call was because I was holding the phone when you called.”_

_“ _I don’t get why you’re being such an ass Blaine. You shouldn’t be the one whose angry._ ”_

_“Oh? Because being bullied out of McKinley by my so called friends really gives me no reason to be angry” Blaine rolled his eyes, did Kurt not know anything that had happened during the past few years?_

_He was told his answer when he heard Kurt inhale sharply, was he crying? Had Blaine made him cry?_

_“ _Blaine_ ” Kurt breathed, the name barely a whisper down the phone. “ _I didn’t know that._ ”_

_“Well now you do.”_

_“ _Why are you angry at me? If they bullied you out of school, then they should be the ones you’re snapping at, not me._ ”_

_“I can be angry at who I want Kurt.”_

_“ _Don’t be an ass Blaine, this isn’t exactly easy for me. I’ve been looking for you since you should have graduated and I finally get some communication and you are just trying to shove me out again._ ”_

_Blaine couldn’t really respond to that._

_“ _I missed you so much and now I don’t even know why I bothered._ ”_

_“What do you want Kurt?”_

_“ _I wanted to meet up for coffee to catch up, but since I don’t know where you are, I can’t really do that now can I?_ ”_

_“Why do you want to meet up?”_

_“ _Because I miss you? We’re going in circles here. Can we at least Skype?_ ”_

_“Why?”_

_“ _God Blaine, why are you being so infuriating? Because I want to talk and I’d like to see you while I do it._ ”_

_“I can act how I like Kurt, I’m not the same person I was 3 years ago” Blaine sighed, running his free hand through his hair._

_“ _Please Blaine, just talk to me, we used to talk all the time. I’m worried about you and I just want to see that you’re okay. No-one has seen you for god knows how long-_ ”_

_“2 years, 8 months and 16 days” Blaine interrupted, unable to stop himself from correcting Kurt to the exact countdown._

_“ _Have you been counting the days since you last were social?_ ” Kurt’s voice made Blaine annoyed, it was judging when Kurt had no right to judge him, not any more._

_“Yes I have. Goodbye Kurt” Blaine hung up before Kurt could speak another word and threw the phone to the other side of the room._

_He was done with that and everything that came with it._

_***_

The knock on the door was concerning. He knew who it was, it was a Tuesday which meant his therapist was there. Not that he ever let her in the house. She sounded nice but for all he knew, she could want to attack him too. 

Her name was Amanda, or at least, she said it was. She’d yet to provide sufficient proof on that one. 

Every knock on the door made his heart rate go up, his hands shake as he wondered if the person was an attacker or an ally. 

“Blaine?” Her voice flowed through the door, as it always did. He sat down in his usual place during these unhelpful sessions, on the steps in front of the door. 

“You going to let me in today?” 

She always sounded so hopeful, it made Blaine feel bad for when the door remained double bolted and he remained in silence until he heard the soft sigh he wasn’t supposed to hear. 

“I guess we’re going to be doing this through the door again, which is fine. I just want you to know that I can help you more if I could actually see you” She pointed this out every time and Blaine was growing tired of it, but didn’t want to dampen her spirits. 

“So, how has your week been? Any panic attacks?” 

The question always made Blaine feel self conscious, it was an invasion of his privacy and while he knew his parents meant well by hiring her, she just made him feel worse. 

“I had one yesterday, when it wasn’t the usual person who delivered my groceries” That was a shock in itself, he always had Joey as it made him feel better having the same person. “I also had one when my ex called me on my phone” He knew that he could lie if he wanted, but while he was distrustful of her, she didn’t deserve to be lied to. 

“What about your ex calling make you anxious?” 

“Because he hasn’t talked to me in 3 years” Blaine hadn’t checked his phone since Kurt had called 4 days ago, though he’d heard a few more phone calls before the battery had died and he sure as hell wasn’t going to charge it. 

“Was there a reason why he didn’t talk to you for 3 years?” Her voice was careful, she’d learnt that saying triggering things could set Blaine off and she had to listen to the poor boy having a panic attack without being able to help him. 

“I cheated on him” Blaine still felt the pain stab in his chest, he’d never gotten the closure he needed about the event. No-one had wanted to know how he was feeling, it was why he had been so short with Kurt. He didn’t think anyone had the right to see him if they hadn’t cared when he’d needed it the most. 

“So because you feel bad about that, you had an anxiety attack?” 

“Yeah” Blaine had taken the medication Amanda had prescribed him which she delivered for him through the letterbox after their sessions. He hadn’t checked his phone so he didn’t have another attack. 

The rest of the session proceeded in the same way, Amanda asked him why he was afraid of the outside world, he’d respond with how he’d been attacked and screwed over so much that he was only safe in his house, she’d put his pills through the door and she’d leave. It was clockwork and the schedule made him feel better. 

He had a schedule of when people came to see him. Monday was grocery day and Joey dropped off his food and supplies to last another week inside the house. Tuesday was therapy day with Amanda. Thursday was family day where either his Mom, Dad or Cooper (Once every few weeks) would come over. They were the only people he saw each week, though he didn’t see Amanda and Joey only dropped the food at the door so he only saw Joey through the window. 

He liked his new way of life, it was safer and he could be who he wanted to be. He could sing at any hour of the day, he could wear sweats for days because no-one would know. He could cry over his lost life and not be judged. 

He was safe. 

*** 

A knock on the door on a Wednesday scared the hell out of him. It was a Wednesday! He used Wednesday’s to get over the stress of his grocery shopping and his therapy session. 

“Blaine?” The voice made him panic more, breath coming out in short gasps. Because the voice belonged to Kurt and Kurt shouldn’t know where he was. 

“Blaine, open the door.” 

Blaine shrunk into the wall, curling into a ball and trying to do everything in his power to control his breathing. He was fine, he was safe, the reason he was inside wasn’t outside his safe zone. But the sound of Kurt calling through the door was cancelling all that out and his pills were in the kitchen. 

“Blaine? Are you okay? Oh god, are you hurt? Breathe Blaine, I’ll find a way in” The supposed to be reassuring thing was making him panic more and he crawled into the kitchen, pawing for the tablets on his tabletop and swallowing 2 dry. 

“Blaine?!” Kurt shouted through the door and did he sound terrified? Blaine couldn’t tell beyond the blood rushing in his ears. 

It took him 10 minutes to calm down with the aid of the medication, though Kurt screaming through his door didn’t help. 

“Kurt?” Blaine called through the door, silencing the panicked shouting. 

“Blaine! Are you okay? All I could hear was you hyperventilating and I was so scared” Kurt babbled. 

“I’m fine now. What are you doing here?” 

“Aren’t you going to open the door?” 

“Why should I?” 

“Because it’s polite?” 

“Kurt I just had a panic attack, I don’t exactly feel up to having a guest right now.” 

Kurt sounded like he was crying, it was hard to make out through the door. 

“Please let me in Blaine. I need to see you, need to know that you’re okay. I wouldn’t have come to find you if I didn’t care about you. I had to call Cooper to get where you were.” 

Blaine felt slightly betrayed that Cooper had told Kurt where he was. 

“I-I can’t” He stuttered, the fear was creeping back into his veins. 

“I can’t help you if I can’t see you.” 

“Now you sound like my therapist” Blaine chuckled darkly. 

“Therapist?” 

“Therapist.” 

“Now you have to let me in. I need to know what’s going on Blaine.”

“You shouldn’t be here.” 

“Well I am, so deal with it. Now let me in before I break in” Kurt’s threat was enough to get Blaine to slide open the locks but put up the chain so the door only opened a little. If Kurt broke in, his house wouldn’t be safe and he’d have no-where where he felt safe. 

“There you are” Kurt’s eyes were red but his voice was placating, like he was talking to a child. 

“What do you want?” Blaine asked again, poking his head around the door. 

“To talk, can I come in?” Kurt’s voice was suggestive and yet caring. 

“Can’t we talk here?” Blaine didn’t want his house being entered by the outside world, only his family came into his house. 

“Why won’t you let me in your house Blaine? I’ve been in there multiple times before.” 

“Because I don’t let anyone in my house. We either talk here or not at all.” 

Kurt sighed, running a hand over his face before nodding, sitting on the railing in front of his door. 

“How have you been? I mean, you said it yourself, you’ve been MIA for 2 years.” 

“Good, I guess. How about you?” 

Kurt cocked his head, like he trying to decipher a riddle. Maybe he was, now that Blaine was a riddle inside a house. 

“Good! I got a proper job at Vogue.com, I am really working hard at NYADA…Why are you here Blaine? I thought you wanted to leave Ohio and come to New York.” 

“I did. Then things happened and I decided to stay here” Blaine gestured behind him to his house. 

“You said over the phone that our friends bullied you…” 

“I did” Blaine nodded, looking at the wooden planks outside his door. The ones he hadn’t stood on for so long. 

“Why would they Blaine? I’ve been trying to work out why they would bully you and I keep coming up with nothing.” 

“I cheated on you” Blaine’s voice was tiny, minute compared to the traffic outside his house. 

Kurt’s eyebrows furrowed, it was still adorable after 3 years and Blaine felt the strong urge to open the door and let Kurt in. But the urge to keep the outside world outside was a hell of a lot stronger. 

“Blaine…” Kurt started, searching for words, “You shouldn’t have let them get to you. I never meant for sides to be drawn and no-one be on yours. You shouldn’t still be beating yourself up over that. I forgave you a long time ago, I was waiting to see you at graduation so we could talk and try to get back what we once had.” 

Out of all the things Kurt could have said, Blaine never expected that. 

“I’m going to go now and talk to some people, but I’ll be back tomorrow and I want to be allowed in” Kurt’s eyes met Blaine’s for the first time in 3 years and Blaine still felt the same pull and push of emotions that came with loving Kurt Hummel. 

He shut the door as soon as Kurt had gotten into his car, re-locking it but sliding down the door. Someone wanted in and Blaine wasn’t sure if he’d be able to say no the next time Kurt Hummel knocked on his door. 

For the first time in forever, he wanted to let someone in. 

For the first time in forever, the outside world didn’t seem as scary as it usually did. 


End file.
